Toxic Friendships

Hey Y'all! I know I've talked about relationships in the past and how toxic some of them. Today I'm going to be talking about toxic friendships. Now, I've had my share of toxic friendships. I know, I say that a lot but unfortunately, it is a reality unlike any other. I believe that I am a kind (and sometimes nice)woman. I talk to people. I interact and try to make people feel good, regardless of what may be happening in their lives. I like to treat people how they treat me regardless.That is not been the reality that I have been living.

Flashback to about 6 years. I have just gotten out of high school. I no longer live with my parents and I have a roommate. Let's call her Beatrice. Beatrice was a friend of mine from high school and we used to get along great. We will go places together. We will talk about different relationships and hard things that we've had in our lives. Her parents even let me stay which I thought was very, very cool. Now fast forward about a year later. I have already had about five arguments Which led us do not talk for months. But all in all, we just seem to come back together like fleas on rats.

Looking back at things, I don't have any animosity towards her. In fact, I am quite upset that things had to happen the way that they did. But I will always remember the good things as well as the bad. That way I never make the same mistakes again. Throughout those next years would be a series of friendships. They would seem as though they care about me when in actuality, they really didn't give a f*ck what I was saying. Don't get me wrong, I have been a bad friend to a couple of people within my life and for those people, I am sincerely sorry. But to the people that intentionally screwed me over and didn't even think twice about it, I'm not the one that you need to ask for forgiveness from.

So, to start off this topic: What makes a toxic friend? Is it the way that they talk? Is it the way that they act? Is it the things that they do voluntarily or involuntarily? If you're like me, we can honestly say all of the above.

Toxic friends come in all shapes and sizes. There's the friendly one: the one that knows every single person but doesn't realize that you are their friend or best friend. There's little miss or mister passive aggressive: This person will tell you everything about yourself, but play it off as if it's not an insult (no offence). Then, my personal favorite is the "nice/kind" one. The one that helps you out and need. The one that is there for you regardless of what happens. But when s*** hits the fan, they want to bring up everything that they did for you and how much you owe them.

That's not a good way to handle a situation in any relationship. I'm not saying that people don't change, but you'll see the people who actually try. Those people we gotta give props to because at least they're self aware. What's interesting is that people will swear that they are the best friend you've ever had, then ghost you when they either get offended or try not to be confrontational.

Whether you have a friend like that or you are the friend, we can all learn something from everybody. Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and others. Tell the person that what they said was not "funny" to you or that an insult thrown in an argument or just a shouting match really struck a nerve in you. Don't hold it in unless the situation ABSOLUTELY calls for it. If you think or know the person is aggressive or quick to get angry or deny, don't try to talk them into it. Protect your peace. They will figure out in their own time how you felt and the words that you said to them(If they want to).

It is hard to forgive, but when I say I'm not the one you should apologize to, I mean I have already or are in the process of forgiving you. What you did to me that was malicious and hurt me physically, emotionally, mentally, etc, God will have to forgive you for doing so.

With that being said, don't let anyone push you around. You are worth more than their words and actions. YOU ARE VALUABLE! And if you don't think so, remember Stacs is on the other side of where you are with flowers and hugs. Much love to you all and see y'all next week!

Stay great🤩💗😇